I'd rather just break coffee cups and promises
Ok so I know I've never been the best and most regular blogger in the world, so it's not like you guys expect amazing things from me anyway. However this time my leave of absence comes with a semi-valid excuse.
To cut a long story short, I slipped off my shower bench and broke six bones. The box I put my feet on was on a slightly weird angle because I'd dropped a bottle of shampoo between it and the wall. Combined with my slightly alcohol-impaired co-ordination at the time, I put weight on it the wrong way, it flipped over and slipped under the bench and I fell on my arse in a rather undignified fashion. There is no elegant way to do that.
I hit my head really hard, so memories of how I got up are a bit foggy. The gaps probably have something to do with the alcohol too. Whoops! I'd like to think I was rescued by my handsome Spanish neighbour. Unfortunately I think the more likely scenario involves me squirming out from under the bench, up onto my footplates and into my chair, something I wouldn't normally attempt under the best of circumstances. It's amazing what your body can do when it's an absolute emergency.
Turns out, I'd broken two ribs, two vertabrae, a finger and my coccyx bone. Nasty. At least the letter from the Radiologist gave me some amusement. It read - "Examination is difficult due to the gross and complex deformities attributed to Osteogenesis Imperfecta. There is a marked thoracic convexivity to the right and the lumbar convexivity to the left. The bones are deformed, osteporotic and hypoplastic throughout. In the lumbar spine there is mild loss of vertebral body height centrally involving all lumbar vertabral bodies. The pelvic bones are grossly deformed with gross flattening of the pelvic cavity. Conclusion: There are gross deformities of Osteogenesis Imperfecta."
In English I think that means that my bones are a bit fucked, and I'm er, gross, I suppose. Doctors are such charmers aren't they?